Kaveret

Sitting in shul this Shabbat, I began thinking how in less than two weeks I would be changing my seat and how Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur would be upon us. As I continue to get into the "mood" of Elul I thought about how long I yet have to go, but also of the consoling yet awe inspiring feelings that the Yamim Noraim instill. I look forward to my temporary seat change and the "holiness" and cleansing ability that that spot has for me each year. But it wasn't always like that...

I remember as a child being insulted that on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur I was only allowed to sit next to my mother until the high time of shul when the non-regulars showed up to claim their seats. Then my sisters and I were relegated to the "non-assigned" seats in the auditorium which was opened up on these special days. It seemed to me that first come first served was how it should be. Why was it okay for me to sit up front all year and now it wasn't. Okay, I was a naive kid, but seating charts and the whole bit didn't do it for me.

I do, however, have loads of positive memories from those days too. Like seeing my friends' who otherwise never came to shul. Bowing flat down for "aleinu" was the coolest thing in my seven year old mind. The shofar blasts made me happy. It was more like listening to a cool concert than the awe inspiring experience that is today.

I'll never forget the Rabbi's (my father's) fiery speeches on those days. I'll never forget the high pitched voice of the woman who sat in my seat (mshrip). I'll never forget how Hughy fainted on Yom Kippur and how when they revived him he still wouldn't drink water. And most of all I'll never forget all the old people (at least they felt that way then) who would shake my hand good Yom Tov and pinch my cheek. To this day, in many new shuls my old haunting, beautiful tunes of my youth still play in my mind. But...I have digressed the seats...

Now, some forty years later, I look forward to my temporary seat change. Initially I chose the first seat in the uppermost row because it had space in front of it for my children to sit quietly on the floor, and the area was open enough for me to make a quick get-away if they started to cry. Now, Baruch Ha-Shem, my children have grown but my seat still holds a special kdushah of years gone by. I have no intention of switching it to a seat near my "regular Shabbos" seat. I love that seat, though I would never even think of sitting there any other time, even though it is almost always empty.

This seat on the Yamim Noraim reminds me of "mshaneh makom meshaneh mazal." It's not an exact fit, because I'm not implying (ch"v) that my mazal is bad. B.H. HKBH has been very good to me. But it does put me into a special different emotional spiritual mindset and that is a jump-start for me to get to where I need to be on these crucial days of judgement.

I hope that this will be a year where HKBH will judge me and my loved ones, and you and your loved ones with kindness, and goodness and that we will all be blessed with a year of bracha, and hatzlacha b'chol maasei yadeinu.